Because “pants just slow you down,” and the company wants to help us keep our privates private!

By Michael P Coleman

Do you remember when a certain soft drink company invited us to “Have A Coke And A Smile?” Or Nike encouraged us to “Just Do It?” Sometimes, the marketing of a product hits a home run. This is one of those times.

Ladies and gentlemen…well, gentlemen…allow me to introduce you to Pockies, the world’s first boxer shorts with fitted legs…and pockets!

Why, you ask?

“Because pants just slow you down,” according to a statement from the company. They want to help us “keep our privates private!”

In the spirit of full and total disclosure, I have been largely pants-free for decades. Growing up, my mom had a hard time keeping clothes on me.

I’ve been working part-time from home for almost 20 years, and full-time since 2012, long before the coronavirus sent many of us scurrying from our offices, ditching our daily commutes, and setting up shop from our couches and kitchen tables.

During all of that virtual working, I and every other guy I know is completely put together from the waist up for each of our Zoom meetings. But — SPOILER ALERT! — what’s going on beneath the frame of that monitor or iPad is often a very different story.

A VERY. Different. Story.

While I’ve been a card-carrying member of the Pants-Free Club for years, I’ve typically not had a place to tuck that card…or my phone, earbuds, or anything thing else that makes my work day go more smoothly. A messenger bag just doesn’t cut it at home, and you can forget a fanny pack.

I’m writing this while wearing a pair of Pockies. My iPhone’s tucked in my right pocket. I may never take these puppies off.

Without going into detail that the ladies may find either off-putting or too titillating for the work day, everything I’ve got is stuffed in its own special place, nestled comfortably in the smoothest, softest pair of boxer shorts that I have ever worn.

Read freelance writer MPC’s full rave about the new Pockies. You won’t believe the conversation with Pockies’s founder…or the guy’s name! MPC insists that you cant’ write this stuff! 

Mike Coleman headshotonly nologo 300

Click here to connect with freelance writer Michael P Coleman, click here to check out his blog, or follow him on Instagram and Twitter:  @ColemanMichaelP

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