by Michael P Coleman
Before I get into this movie review, here’s a quick shoutout to the guy in the row ahead of me, in Auditorium #11, in row F, seat 3, Friday, August 16 at the 9:50pm show at the Cinemark XD Theatre on Arden in Sacramento. He was on his iPhone X for most of the movie, texting and browsing through his apps. I politely asked him to put his phone away for the duration of the film. He not so politely declined to do so.
But that’s a topic for another day!
Today, let’s take a look at the new 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. In a nutshell, it’s more Sharknado than Jaws.
That’s not to say that Uncaged is a bad movie. It’s just not a great one.
It IS a funny one. I’ll never be able to listen to The Carpenters’ “We’ve Only Just Begun” again without smiling. And it includes homages not just to Die Hard and Jurassic World, as well as to the Spielberg classic that started it all, but also to one of Jaws’ direct descendants, Deep Blue Sea.
That homage in particular had me literally laughing out loud. And I’m not at all sure that that was the reaction that director Johannes Roberts wanted from his audience when that verbose character became shark food.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged is a descendant in its own right, to the 2017 film 47 Meters Down. It’s not a sequel per se, as the movies don’t share a common narrative thread. This new one is just another flick about insatiable great white sharks.
And speaking of descendants, this movie’s cast features two of them: Corinne Foxx and Sistene Stallone, daughters of Hollywood legends Jamie and Sylvester, respectively. Both are serviceable in roles that, as they should be, are secondary to the big fish. Nia Long could have elevated the acting in this flick, but she was woefully underutilized.
Click here to read MPC’s full review, including his take on the movie’s two major shark jumps — sisters just don’t DO THAT! — and his parting shot to the guy in row F, seat 3…
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