By Michael P Coleman
How long are you willing to wait for a fast food hamburger and fries?
Five minutes? 10? 20?
How about 75 long minutes, on a warm, sunny afternoon, for a burger, fries, milk shake, and cookie? I’d missed Burger Patch’s pop-up teaser event a week or so before, so I had to get down there for last weekend’s Grand Opening. Just for you.
Well, it was really just for me. After an afternoon of running errands with only a cup of coffee in my stomach, I was ravenous. The wait was long enough for the owners to hand out free french fries and bottles of water to everyone in line. And as I waited an hour just to order, in a line that wrapped out of the place and down the block, I prayed that the food would be worth the wait. After I ordered, I waited another 30 minutes for my late lunch.
Well, let me skip quickly to the end of this sordid story: the Double Patch Burger was the best plant-based hamburger I’d ever had, and one of the best fast food burgers OF ANY KIND I’ve ever had.
Yeah, that wasn’t a typo: the freaking thing is plant-based. “Vegan” gets a bad rap, and I didn’t want to scare you off. Although I’m shifting back to a more plant-based diet — I’d been a vegetarian for three years before moving to California — I eat a little bit of everything and was raised in a carnivorous home, so I know a good hamburger when I chomp on one.
The Double Patch Burger’s melted cheddar “cheese” and Patch Sauce dripped delicately over the side of that moist, warm burn and more than warranted my use of a single index finger to wipe the residue off of the wrapper and ease it in my mouth. To hell with decorum! The BBQ Patch Burger was equally good — but then, almost anything with barbecue sauce on it is a friend of mine.
The “milk” shakes, both vanilla and chocolate, were excellent as well, but the vanilla’s more of a slow burn. It got better and better as it passed my palate. Both made me yearn for strawberry. The cookies were great, too.
Only Burger Patch’s fries were standard issue, which is rather ironic for a vegan burger shack. Next time, I’ll probably skip them altogether. I’m picky about my fries. I like them lightly salted with a little ketchup and piping hot, and these were…not.
Burger Patch’s menu also includes a faux chicken option, which I’d typically avoid like the plague as I drove to Popeye’s, but after that burger, I’m going to give it a go. Soon.
Plan to pay a little more for that Burger Patch sandwich than you will at your usual drive thru window, as a friend of mine pointed out on Facebook after his recent visit. My reply? It’s a helluva lot cheaper than a heart transplant.
I’m thinking the wait time at Burger Patch will shorten in the coming weeks, after the initial buzz about the new place wanes. But if it doesn’t, I’d wait for over an hour again…in a heart attack-resistant heartbeat.
Burger Patch is located at 2300 K Street in Sacramento. Read up on them at theburgerpatch.com