The long-running horror franchise comes to a grinding halt amid underdeveloped mental health messages and plot holes that are bigger than the ones in the chests of Michael Myers’ victims. That said, this writer hasn’t slept soundly since he saw it last weekend.
I was conflicted when I learned of the new “Halloween Ends.” It’s been 44 years, after all, since the original was released. While I kinda wanted someone to put a (pitch) fork in Michael Myers, already, I was somewhat saddened that a part of our collective childhoods — a bloody, gory part, mind you — was coming to an end.
As I dimmed the lights, I got over that nostalgia very quickly.
By the time the credits rolled, I was almost in cardiac arrest. Never again will I watch a film like “Halloween Ends” late on a Saturday night, in a darkened room, with nothing but a big bowl of popcorn to keep me safe and warm.
As I write this the following morning, having tossed and turned in my bed for at least half of the night, I can only say that if you’re a fan of the franchise, you’ll both love and hate the new “Halloween Ends.” Although the murderous Myers always manages to make it back to the cul-de-sac, this time around he — or it — certainly seems to be toast.
Wait a minute: that’s what happened at the end of 2018’s excellent “Halloween,” the one that kicked off the new trilogy. This time around, the story certainly seems to grind to a screeching halt.
Watch the trailer before you decide whether you can go all in!
“Halloween Ends” is directed by David Gordon Green and stars Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, in a role she originated in the 1978 original. I can’t think of another actor who has played a role for so long, let alone still managed to command our attention along with a major studio’s financing.
While the quality of entries into the Halloween franchise has ebbed and flowed over the years, this new trilogy wraps up satisfyingly. In watching Laurie try to settle the score — Myers killed her mother in the last one! — I found myself cheering a heroine on as I hadn’t since Ripley squared off against a latex alien all of those decades ago.
In addition to Curtis’ performance, “Halloween Ends” is bolstered by relative newcomer Rohan Campbell as new character Corey Cunningham, as well as James Jude Courtney as The Shape himself.
Or is it “itself.” I dunno. Just get him — or it — off of my screen. I didn’t invest in a home theatre for my heart to stop while desperately clutching an unopened, melting Milky Way.
As I was watching “Halloween Ends,” I finally figured out why Myers is more menacing, and, perhaps, more memorable than his cinematic compatriots Jason Voorhees (“Friday The 13th) and Freddy Krueger (“A Nightmare On Elm Street”). Mike never wiped ‘em out at a lakefront campground hours away. Nor did he slaughter ‘em in their dreams, where the dawn can bring relief.
Myers always went to work in the neighborhood, on our streets, and sometimes, in our formerly “home sweet homes.” That a-ha moment revealed one of “Halloween Ends”’s glaring plot holes:
What parent would let their kids trick-or-treat, without adult supervision no less, in the very town where Michael Myers is known to lurk, pummel, and stab his way into movie history?
While I’m at it, here’s another:
Why in the world would Laurie, after having been terrorized on Halloween night for almost half a century, decorate her new home — which she purchased in the same aforementioned town — with fake spiders and jack-o-lanterns in the celebration of the holiday?
Ah, well. We haven’t followed the Halloween films for almost half of a century because of their brilliant plot exposition. This ain’t “War And Peace” or “The Grapes Of Wrath.” We wanna see blood and gore! And “Halloween Ends” begins with some and certainly delivers lots more during it’s almost two hour run time. After one scene, I’ve never been happier to have retired from the radio business.
While bogged down a bit by social commentary, woefully underdeveloped messages about trauma, healing, and mental health, and the aforementioned and other ginormous plot holes, Halloween does, indeed, end. Its epic conclusion is quite satisfying to those, like me, who want Myers the hell out of our lives forever.
For. E. Ver.
Well, at least, until the next “Halloween” reboot. ‘Cause we all know that you just can’t keep a good boogieman down.
“Halloween Ends” is in theaters now and is streaming exclusively on Peacock.
