DATING! Not for the weak.
Contributed by Angelina Marcelle
Dating. Whew! Not for the weak. However, I will say dating has offered me new outlooks on life.
I literally have a new revelation every week about it. The few things that I have learned while dating in my 40’s:
- Everyone has somebody. Literally. If they say they do not, ask again in a month. There is always someone lurking.
- People will sacrifice their whole entire relationship for a distraction. Distraction and attention from someone else. And to no one’s fault but the flesh is HELLA weak.
- Sex is not special nor meaningful. It’s a nut (excuse my language)
- Honesty is NOT a requirement
- Feelings and emotions are non-existent.
My new revelation for THIS month: People have 24 hours in a day.
Within that day, you elect and select what type of relationship you are or may be involved in or within……..
Hear me out! There are 24 hours in a day. If you are NOT spending the entire 24 hours with your person, then your person has the opportunity to incorporate other relationships into their lives.
There is the “work hour” relationship. Your person is your person from 8:00 am – 5:00 pm. You send the “good morning” text and other throughout the day. May even go to lunch or two. However, there is no “real “communication after 5:00 pm.
This is the phase of getting to know someone. You’re interested but not quite vested. You like this person but not enough for public outings or hanging out with her friends. You would go to dinner, but you really do not have a lot to talk about. Therefore, you avoid the uncomfortable moments of silence but not even engaging.
Then there is the 5:01 pm – 10:00 pm relationship. This is the fun period where you have great conversations, dinner is amazing, and we might hang out a little bit. However, it really is a 2-drink minimum. You don’t want to get too comfortable or tipsy and end up in someone’s bed! So you keep it cute, cordial and a little sexy. Sexy enough to compliments but not fucking (just yet!)
Then there is the 10:01 pm – 7:59 am relationships. One with very little communication and usually physical. This relationship meets the needs of the night. The need to be listened to, held, showered, massaged and other physical contact that meets your needs. This relationship sees very little light. Outside of the bedroom it is nonexistent.
This relationship has zero to very little emotions attached. This is the one that can be the most illest! Eventually your emotions may catch up with you and fu*k with your head. When this happens, take a few steps back to regroup and remind yourself …. It’s not that.
Dating over 40 isn’t easy at all! But one thing I will say, always put yourself first! Make sure you are healed enough and not taking any hurt from your past with you. Be open to be disappointed. You have to be willing to accept not everyone will have YOUR best interest at heart!
LASTLY – and HEAR me very clearly ……. There are a billion people in this WORLD!
There IS someone for EVERYONE! Do not SETTLE for LESS when there is someone to love you and ONLY YOU properly!
Get your A** out of California if you don’t believe me!